How to Keep Self-Image from Ruining Your Life

  • Reading time:17 mins read

Lately, I have been looking for opportunities to really connect with women through book clubs, bible studies, prayer nights, and so on. I genuinely desire to connect. So let me know if you have any suggestions. I would love to hear them. Because self-image is not something that we can fake. So let’s learn how to keep self-image from ruining your life.

Many of us struggle with self-image in various ways that have tattered us emotionally and have limited barriers in creating healthy self-fulfilling relationships with other women. Let’s be clear on what self-image is:  

📌 What we think we look like

📌 How we view our abilities

📌 What we believe others think of us

📌 How we view our personality traits

Earlier this week, I participated in a Facebook bible study for women. Throughout the evening, I noticed how many of the women kept saying “I’m sorry.” As a leader, I know many of us as women tend to personalize mistakes and over-apologize for even the smallest of errors. That’s just what we do! 

But this particular time, I witnessed firsthand apologies being thrown around during what was ultimately a laid-back, fun event. I thought.

Additionally, many of my calls have been working on the issues of self-image. Given these points, I’m convinced that this is the biggest downfall that many of us struggle with as women, especially, when we don’t get the notoriety or the approval of self-worth from other women. 

Nonetheless, I’ve read the Book of Daniel on so many occasions. But each time, I find myself dealing with the king who struggled with being arrogant and out of order after God promoted him.

But this time, after reading the “Daniel: 7 Lessons From Babylon” bible plan, I was intrigued by Daniel’s gift of interpretation. He gets to prove that he is anointed and has been chosen to speak the truth. And that same opportunity will come to us to change a life when we say that we have a life-changing gift too. 

So be careful when making announcements about what you can do because God will give you a chance to prove exactly what you said.

Lord! I just can’t wait. 

Now for those of you preparing to come into a season where you’re going to have to prove your worth. You should start preparing; you will be blessed because the doors of opportunity are opening up.

If you’re like me, you have said to God over the years, “Lord, if you just bless me with this. I promise you; I’m going to do that.”  

And, I’ve heard God say… Prove it!

See, God didn’t put Daniel on a small stage to prove himself. God put a king before him. He placed an image (mirror) before him to show him himself. Daniel stood before the king as a slave. But God was presenting him as king. 

Is it okay to say that we can’t allow our situation to define us no matter what state we’re in? 

We still have to believe what God says about us. 

Well now! Do you want me to get started? I have a lot of scriptures to declare your future. 

In short, the king has destroyed what Daniel has known as life for years, and has taken him into slavery.

This is the part where many of us can really have an attitude about what has happened to us, and some of us just sit down. And dare God to ask us to do anything. 

Consequently, Daniel understood his image of what God called him to do. He had an opportunity of a lifetime. Of course, he could dwell on his circumstances and say… “God, I’m not doing anything, nor am I telling the king anything after everything that has been done to me. And now God. You want me to do something for you?” You better find somebody else to do it because I’m not doing nuthin” 

Y’all know how we do when we get in our feelings about something. Sometimes our attitude doesn’t allow us to do the job because we interpret what God is through our feelings instead of our intellect. 

Subsequently, when you’re faced with proving yourself are you going to remain average or stuck in your feelings? Or, are you going to allow God to test the gift He has placed in you? 

Let me tell you what I’m going to do. “Lord, test the gift on the inside of me. I’m ready to be promoted and to be brought before great men.”

Notably, Daniel climbed over his emotions and did what God called him to do. Remember, whenever we are called to do greater, we have to be willing to step over our feelings into our vocations. 

On the other hand, let me share with you my epiphany about image and what helped me to see things clearly. I have a lot of rich friends, to be honest, and I’ve tried to figure out why the gap between my finances and their finances are so wide. 

Y’all see where I’m going? 

I was looking at the wrong things. To that end, I was too busy looking at the big house, nice cars, and all the other amenities. I forgot to ask them “How did you get all this stuff?” 

See, my goal was to take a selfie with them and post it on social media to get a few temporary likes. But I was missing the real lesson.

In the same fashion, I walked into the house saying… “Oh my God, this is so nice. I would never have spent this kind of money. And do you know what I could have done with that money?” 

Moreover, I became lost in their stuff and insulted what they had done or their gift. When I was invited over to their house, they didn’t do that so I could target what they did. But for me to honor who they are. 

New struggle: The next time you get around somebody of influence. Don’t ask them for their picture or selfie. Ask them for their knowledge. You’ll be like me; you can go to social media to post that image. But you’ll lack the substance–information.

In this case, Daniel’s gift was first. Then, the opportunity showed up. Daniel was confident in his gift. He didn’t lay it aside because the opportunity hadn’t shown up yet. He continued to stir up his gift. 

We can’t become so frustrated and lay down our gifts when the opportunity hasn’t shown up yet. Despite this, we have to remain confident in the calling.

Is it okay to say until someone finds our gift we have to keep working on it? Or, until someone buys our products, we have to keep fine-tuning them? Eventually, our gift will make room for us. 

Pause. I gotta deal with a little self-image, ladies. 

For those of you that are single ladies, until someone believes that you are a good thing, keep working on yourself. Don’t wait until God sends you a husband to become a woman and a wife. Be one now, because the Bible says… He that finds a wife finds a good thing. Not a female. But a good thing. 

If you want more information about that, send me an email for coaching sessions one-on-one. 

Meanwhile, it was difficult for the king to figure out the dream. Whew! It happens to us too—we worry when we can’t figure out what God is trying to show us. I can respect that. Sometimes the images we have about ourselves can be flawed and we need someone to interpret our lives differently so we can see ourselves the way that God sees us. 

When we break through the images we have about ourselves, we can present our real-selves upfront. And then allow individuals to make the choice they desire to make about us. Because the image we’re dreaming about is destroying who we really are and hope to be. However, our strength is not in what we believe, but in our reality. 


Daniel 2:31-36 “What you saw, O king, was a huge statue standing before you, striking in appearance. And terrifying. The head of the statue was pure gold, the chest and arms were silver, the belly and hips were bronze, the legs were iron, and the feet were an iron-ceramic mixture. While you were looking at this statue, a stone cut out of a mountain by an invisible hand hit the statue, smashing its iron-ceramic feet. Then the whole thing fell to pieces—iron, tile, bronze, silver, and gold, smashed to bits. It was like scraps of old newspapers in a vacant lot in a hot dry summer, blown every which way by the wind, scattered to oblivion. But the stone that hit the statue became a huge mountain, dominating the horizon. This was your dream.


When God gives us a gift, we’re suppose to be specific about what we’re doing. We don’t dance and worry about how it’s going to come over when we deliver it. When it’s from God, interpretation will be received whether they like it or not. 

36-40 “And now we’ll interpret it for the king. You, O king, are the most powerful king on earth. The God of heaven has given you the works: rule, power, strength, and glory. He has put you in charge of men and women, wild animals and birds, all over the world—you’re the head ruler, you are the head of gold. But your rule will be taken over by another kingdom, inferior to yours, and that one by a third, a bronze kingdom, but still ruling the whole land, and after that by a fourth kingdom, ironlike in strength. Just as iron smashes things to bits, breaking and pulverizing, it will bust up the previous kingdoms.

Marred Clay: 

41-43 “But then the feet and toes that ended up as a mixture of ceramic and iron will deteriorate into a mongrel kingdom with some remains of iron in it. Just as the toes of the feet were part ceramic and part iron, it will end up a mixed bag of the breakable and unbreakable. That kingdom won’t bond, won’t hold together any more than iron and clay hold together.

God the Chief CornerStone:

44-45 “But throughout the history of these kingdoms, the God of heaven will be building a kingdom that will never be destroyed, nor will this kingdom ever fall under the domination of another. In the end it will crush the other kingdoms and finish them off and come through it all standing strong and eternal. It will be like the stone cut from the mountain by the invisible hand that crushed the iron, the bronze, the ceramic, the silver, and the gold.

“The great God has let the king know what will happen in the years to come. This is an accurate telling of the dream, and the interpretation is also accurate.”

God is Beyond Question:

46-47 When Daniel finished, King Nebuchadnezzar fell on his face in awe before Daniel. He ordered the offering of sacrifices and burning of incense in Daniel’s honor. He said to Daniel, “Your God is beyond question the God of all gods, the Master of all kings. And he solves all mysteries, I know, because you’ve solved this mystery.”

48-49 Then the king promoted Daniel to a high position in the kingdom, lavished him with gifts, and made him governor over the entire province of Babylon and the chief in charge of all the Babylonian wise men. At Daniel’s request the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to administrative posts throughout Babylon, while Daniel governed from the royal headquarters.

In conclusion, King Nebuchadnezzar had things mixed up. God had elevated him and he forgot that there was a King of Kings. Nebuchadnezzar forgot that all things exist by God and not by him. When the stone fell, it hit the feet. The clay, the weakest part of the body.

God has a way of bringing us to our lowest to help us always remember He is our Creator. Those who make themselves humble will be made great. Those who make themselves great will be humbled. 

God needs us to tear down our self-images. Or, remove the people in our lives that think we can’t make it without them. God hates the images we put around ourselves daily. He even told King Nebuchadnezzar. If you don’t tear that self-image down, I’m going to raise someone up that’s weaker than you. When we make ourselves so big, God finds someone that’s not so great but is willing to be used so He can get the glory. We’re in danger of being replaced when we don’t know our place. 

So, find your self-image in Jesus Christ and trust that the plans for your future are in His hands. No one can define your self-worth. 

Don’t become weary in YOUR well-doing.